Are You Desperate to See?

Jesus didn't die so we could have a religion.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Well Duh!

I woke up with a strong sense for a need to pray and read the Word today. I checked my blogs, chatted with my dad on MSN Messenger and sat down, picking up where I left off in Galatians. I read about 2 chapters. Then I had a “Well Duh” moment.

I grew up as a blonde. I can tend to be a stereotypical blonde. Things that are obvious to everyone else come to me in great ephiphanies. When I share them, people look at me and say, “Well Duh!”

So in Galatians, Paul writes about how these Jewish Christians had reverted back to keeping rules in an effort to win God’s favor. They had traded their freedom in Christ for approval of men. They were afraid of what people outside would think of their faith that had changed them on the inside.

Tomorrow Jeremy and I go to interview at a church in Prescott Valley. It is a non-denominational church with CB roots. We currently go to a non-denominational church with AG roots. My dad was key in getting Jeremy and me the interview. He is a graduate of Dallas Theological and has a Doctorate in Biblical studies. He is very learned, very intelligent.

And over the past three years, as I have developed and matured in my Christianity, my views on some biblical aspects have strayed from my dad’s views. The biggest one is that my prayer life has become extremely powerful. I have a prophetic bent in my prayers. I have no business knowing the things that I pray about. I have a solid belief that is given to me during prayer concerning some situations. And it is not something I can explain, and it is not a forced emotion or some silliness. I truly believe it is the Spirit of God working through me, plain and simple.

During worship time, God reveals truths to me. I feel like I am truly insane at times. But I know not to discount them because during this time of development, I have seen these truths come to life. I have seen that when I act in faith and go speak to someone regarding what has been revealed, people are changed and blessed.

And as time goes on, these become more pronounced and more radical in nature. During praise and worship last week, I looked up at someone and I truly felt like vomiting. It was bizarre. I felt this evil presence all over this individual. The next night, as I was reading my Bible, I heard a voice clearly “He wants to kill her.”

I sat in shock for a while. I continued to read, but wasn’t digesting a word I was looking at. I knew I shouldn’t shake that feeling or what I had heard. So I called someone. We prayed. It was pretty amazing.

And I don’t know if that guy really intends on killing someone. I cannot point to concrete proof. I suppose if it ever happened, I could feel vindicated, but through prayer, my hope is that if that were the case the course of events were changed through prayer.

And I know if I told my dad any of this he would just look at me, not wanting to discount what I am saying I believe but not really believing it himself. I don’t think he believes that some spiritual gifts are as alive and well as I think they are.

And so tomorrow I am going to a church that my dad goes to in order to interview. And I am not comfortable leaving what I have learned behind. I am not comfortable watering them down, either. I think my dad might be disappointed that I do believe this strongly in the “oogie boogies”.
As you can tell, I probably still carry around some daddy’s girl in me. But in Galatians, Paul speaks out against going back to what I knew Spiritually in order to appease man.

Well Duh. I actually laughed aloud and said, “Am I really that stupid, God?” Why was I even struggling with it? To move forward in maturity in Christ or to please my natural father? Well Duh. In selfishness, I want my dad to be happy with me. I want to keep the peace and not rock the boat.

The Word of God says, “Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day.”

My self-interest is to be a daddy’s girl that would win his heart. My freedom in Christ motivates me to be a Daddy’s girl that would win His heart.


At 5:48 AM, Blogger daisymarie said...

I was thinking this morning after my time in the Word about the many different ways God gets us to where he wants us to be. Some--many--of the moves don't make sense, seem like steps backwards, or like totally falling into darkness. It's not easy to see the destination due to the confusion of the moment.

I sat there thinking about how where I am is not the way I thought it would look, but how I can see God unfolding an amazing plan.

Trust Him. Even in this interview. I hope you sense not only His direction but His loving hand.


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