The Exit that is an Entrance

My feelings and perceptions surrounding Josh’s death don’t fit into my picture of God.

I John 2:6 says, “Anyone who claims to be intimate with God out to live the same life Jesus did.”

Jesus is my measuring stick in my relationship with God. What’s the shortest verse in the Bible? “Jesus wept.” I knew that for years. I recently learned what he wept over: A friend died. Jesus wept over Lazarus. The fact that he was the Creator of the universe was of no consolation. He as God Incarnate and he still struggled with the misery from loss due to death.

Death is inevitable. Is it natural? Maybe death is unnatural. It’s an abrupt end to an eternal soul. I don’t have any concept of what the moment of living here to the moment of being dead feels like. I speculate. Is it like the first drop on a roller coaster- exhilarating and scary?

Whatever it is, the grief of death is deep. Jesus wept.

And I can’t help but to wonder if he raised Lazarus from the dead in part because he could. I mean, Jesus was human. Death hurts. Lazarus was a witness after he came out of the grave, and he led a large number of people to Jesus himself. There is purpose in his resurrection in that. But maybe there was also a human factor at work in raising Lazarus. I know that if it would not hurt anything, and maybe even help, I would love to be able to bring back Josh.

But that’s not gonna happen. There is no more need for eternal death. Jesus gave everyone the chance at their own resurrection when he rose from the grave himself. Josh will be back. We all will. In the meantime, I weep.