The Reason

Sometimes I can't put a finger on what I mean. Especially when God uses my whole life to teach me something, by the time I learn it, it is such a part of me I can' t explain what I mean.

I have never heard my heart's cry vocalized. I have never had my whole life's purpose summed up. Until this morning. It made me cry. Sometimes I feel like I am an island when it comes to how I view things. I sometimes feel like I am the only person to percieve things the way that I do.

My heart is full of people. I rejoice when they rejoice. I cry when they cry. I want to see others succeed so much and I celebrate when they finally "make it" and end up in first place that I don't notice when I end up last. I am constantly carrying around burdens for other people. Not in the sense that I am carrying it around to fix them, just carrying it around because I love them and I mourn for them. And so many people are hurting. So many people have a hard time understanding life and don't feel valuable.

I shared that I am considering adopting teens. I cannot imagine not having parents at that time in life. I cannot be their parent, but I can be a constant, my home can be their stability. And people will ask why would I help these teens? My answer is Why wouldn't I? How could I not?

Even in blogland, I get to know people and see their struggles and get to know their hearts a little bit. And I carry that around now, too. I'm just built that way I think.

My whole life purpose is to simply be here in a way that helps other people. And this was said to me (and everybody else) this morning at church. I felt validated somehow. I was raised by a pastor, but I can't say I really saw a heart that carried people's burdens around. I can't say I saw the passion for people to change. And I guess I felt a little secluded in the way I view life.

And it was an honor to me to have my heart spoken in front of people as a goal to reach. The guy was speaking about humbleness, servanthood and meekness. I know that at least my view of my life being as a tool for God and not something to satisfy myself is the right way to see things.

I value other people. I live with concern for other people. It is hard sometimes. It can be depressing in a way to love so many people and to see them stumble.

The real point of Christianity in the way we should live life is that Christianity is being a servant to all. It is what Jesus lived and breathed. He would not minister now, driven around in a limo with a chauffer. He wouldn't own a lear jet to get from one sermon to the next conference. He would live humbly, expending his life and energy to change people.

I feel validated. I have been placed where I am, and I have started here expending myself for the people that are around me. It's not about me, my comfort, my needs, my time. It is about the people around me. And the fact that I am actually on the right track with this thinking makes me all misty eyed.