Are You Desperate to See?

Jesus didn't die so we could have a religion.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Boot Camp

A group of women committed ourselves to fasting all day yesterday and then getting together this morning at 11 to finish in prayer together and then eat.

God blessed me financially yesterday. I have been waiting awhile for financial relief. People that know nothing about me are seeing something different about me. Praying is becoming more focused and more of a joy. I am still waiting for change in my dad's family, but I know a revolution is coming.

I am looking for God. I took time to pray, to say to God that I wanted Him more than I wanted to please my tired, hungry flesh. I think I was edgy yesterday but I want God more than I want to please my flesh so I can please people.

Ever since I started to pray more and especially fast, I have not been sleeping well. God is speaking to me. My spirit is so alive my body can't keep up. Neither can my brain. It took me about five minutes just to comb my hair today because I was so worn.

BUT GOD! Our prayer time today (with the ladies) was absolutely great. We prayed that the men in our church would be lifted up. We sense that God started moving in the women and getting us ready and the men are going to be raised up and go. We prayed for one woman in particular who is having to be the pioneer and spiritual warrior in her family. Our biggest prayer was for the church we go to. We want angels standing with swords at the doors tomorrow morning, checking all the baggage that doesn't belong inside the church so there wouldn't even be a dust speck of ungodliness tomorrow. We want God to be able to move wholly and fully without boundaries; all access to all hearts and families. We are in tune with where God is going and are looking in the right direction. I hope my flesh dies completely, that I wouldn't need food or sleep to sustain me. I know that isn't until the next life, but it is really exciting, no matter how tiring it is to be where God is.

I guess this might be boot camp. In boot camp, people are pushed really hard. It is constant training, not enough sleep, lots of exercise and not being able to do exactly what you want when you want. We are becoming soldiers and leaders. We will be alert and conditioned to be strong in God.

The church is going to see a growth and an outpouring. I feel sad for anyone who is going to miss tomorrow. We are on fire and it is going to spread to those who aren't looking the right way. It is so easy to have our eyes fall down to focus on ourselves, but this fighting in prayer through the fasting and tiredness has made it so that I can't give into my thoughts or feelings about myself. I can only look to God to see where He is at to keep going.


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