Are You Desperate to See?

Jesus didn't die so we could have a religion.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

My Crossroad

Into your hands I commit my life.

My flesh is screaming at me to stress out. My flesh is trying to push into the front ground of my thoughts all the things I would miss, all of the reasons not to go.

But I will go where you want me to go. I will do what you want me to do. I'll do anything for you. My life is yours. I am your pawn, your vessel, your creation, your servant. I say it. I believe it. You take care of me. I seek the kingdom and your righteousness and you add all of these things to me. I can count the reasons to love these things that are here. But I know my life will be forever changed and blessed more abundantly by following you wherever you lead.

And if I turn back now, if I don't offer up this block to you, then what's the point? I have to start over. I have to withold something when I have promised to give you everything. I might as well have witheld everything and not ever started down the path of surrender.

I am a slave to love. I am a worker for the kingdom. My heart's cry is that I would be used wherever God needs me- wherever God needs us.

I have a passion. I have a flame. I have a burning desire and it is ready to be unleashed. It is ready to be released on teens somewhere. I don't dare hold it in. It would poison me.

God, I am yours. You knew if you brought me this far, I would step over the threshold. I will not forsake you. I will not begin to live my life for myself. Everything I am is constructed around you and your promises. If I pull out now, the whole house comes crashing down. I'm in too deep.

I'm too deeply in love with you. I'm too deeply impassioned with the things of you. I cannot, will not withold what you have given me to begin with. I'm yours.

If I lay it down for you, you will pick it up and give it back to me better than what I gave.

I trust you. Show me the way.

(I guess I set out to live for something more meaningful than I am. I have practiced living a life that is not about me. Now I guess this is what I want, right?)


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