Are You Desperate to See?

Jesus didn't die so we could have a religion.

Monday, September 12, 2005

One of "Those" Days

Maybe you have been there?

Last night before I went to bed, I sent a confidential E-mail to a distribution list instead of the individual it was intended for. Talk about egg on my face. I started getting that gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach. The E-mail was private about a circumstance that has been going on that was supposed to be sent to the youth pastor. I think next time I will just print those out and hand them to him physically.

So, I wake up this morning ready to go. Last week I blew off work. I didn't get anything done and I didn't feel good about it. So I got up, started working, picked up the phone to make my first call and I knocked my glass of water so it landed perfectly all over the laptop. It was mostly full.

I dried the computer and to my relief- it comes on. However, the keyboard and mouse do not work now. So I suppose I will have to call and see if my super duper warranty covers water damage.

Well, that's not all. I want to cry, which isn't a good state of mind to be making calls in because the first person who is not receptive to what I have to say will probably get a sobbing woman on the other end. So my plans for the morning are fading quickly.

Then I decide I should call my client to set up a meeting because I found out on Saturday that she is unhappy with me. The conversation went something like this, "Oh. Hi, Amber. I was just sending you an E-mail to tell you I called your office and left a message with your broker to see if we could all sit down and talk like adults."

The thing is, she never gave me warning that she was upset. I have done three times the normal amount work on her case because she is high maintenance and my goal is to truly make my people satisfied. Apparently I am failing dismally.

So today isn't the best day ever. In fact, since late Friday I have had one thing after another happen.

Yet I know what to do. I went and prayed. I said, "God, you are not wrong. I will not turn my back, question you or camp out in this emotion. I am having a hard time and I am wondering what I did wrong. Yet, I cling to you for safety. You are my King. You are worthy of my worship and adoration." (Understand, I don't believe that God is punishing me for something. I think this is just life. I believe that God is the same and views us the same regardless of how we treat him. Yet, my first reaction is "What did I do wrong?".)

Nothing has changed. My circumstances are the same. I still sent that E-mail to 10 people who should not read it instead of the one who should. I still have a client who is upset with me. I still have a laptop that I depend on for my business to function that has shorted out. I still have to make these calls.

Yet I am calm. I am at peace. I am sure God sent someone to pray for me, too. I fel released, calm and happy. I am satisfied in Christ.

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