Are You Desperate to See?

Jesus didn't die so we could have a religion.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

My Fear

I am terrified of losing out on God. I am terrified that I won’t feel his presence like I do now. I am terrified that I won’t be able to walk in his power or enjoy a congregation that welcomes his presence like I get to experience now. I am afraid of walking away and settling for less of God than I have now. I am afraid that I will be surrounded by dull people; people that are dull towards God. I want a staff that is excited and animated about God. I want people that fully embrace everything God has to offer, even if they don’t grasp it with their minds.

I am so scared, God, of losing the intimacy and fire I have with you right now. Hold me in your arms. Never let me go. I don’t want less of you. I don’t want you to diminish in my life. I want more of you. I want you to grow in my life. I want my territory in you to expand.

It isn’t a conjured up feeling. It is a pursual of God, a hungriness and neediness of the things of God. It is a steady seeking of his face. It is being in his Word daily, praying throughout the day, giving mind, body and spirit to God in daily worship and corporate worship.


At 4:00 PM, Blogger Weets said...

There's a verse in Scripture that says something like, "Perfect love casts out all fear."

I can tell you that God's not afraid of losing you, Amber--so don't be afraid of losing His love.

"So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid for I am your God. I will strenghten you and help you--I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Isaiah 41:10

At 9:22 PM, Blogger Amber Lynn said...

Thank you, Weets!!!! :)

At 5:13 AM, Blogger Weets said...

No, thank you. Your post "My Crossroad" is providing a wonderful springboard to the TrustQuest post I am currently working on. Of course, we didn't plan that but God did:)

I didn't read it until last night, and I awoke with that post in my head and excited that the Lord had revealed an introductory angle.

Props to you for putting into words your vulnerabilities.

At 11:27 AM, Blogger Amber Lynn said...

That is so cool! God works everything for his glory. I have my other blog where I am ministering to a bunch of non-Christians. They don't really know that is my intent of course. But on my post over there yesterday I wrote what I thought was an innocuous statement "I had a cryfest with God".

I don't want to explain what happened to protect the innocent, but someone contacted me through email that is a regular reader of that blog to ask questions and show their seeking.

I water down that blog. I use this one to fully expand my Spiritual thinking. I think it is really, really awesome how God uses a lot of things to work himself into people's lives.


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