Have you been there?

Sometimes we pray for a miracle and ask the mountain to be moved when we are simply supposed to act in faith and go up the mountain.

I pray for perseverance. My life is easy, but my heart's burden for the teens is hard sometimes.

One by One

More information on Terri Schiavo. I don't think these changes are a coincidence. Please keep praying!

Thanks to Bud for the victory notice.

Showers of Blessing? Or Just a Dreary Forecast?

This winter started in mid-October with unusually cold weather and lots of rain. It is usually cold for a total of five weeks here, and the sun is shining for all of them. It has rained since October and has not really stopped until today. Today felt like Arizona. It was sunny and warm. My large dog got his first bath since October. I know that is gross, but you try lifting a 125 pound dog into a bathtub!!

Because of the rain my backyard was covered in weeds. I would look out the window and sigh- it was always to rainy, cold and/or windy to pull weeds. Today it was nice to sit outside for close to two hours pulling weeds and feeling warm in a short sleeved shirt. I was going to spray the weeds, but there were so many and the spray is supposed to be continuous for a 10 count on each weed. So I decided to pull one up. In Arizona, the earth is usually baked hard. Today it was soft and moist and weeds were pullable. Usually all I get for my troubles pulling a weed is a handful of green leaves, not the roots. Today I was able to get most of the weeds leaves and roots! The ones whose roots were left behind, I sprayed.

The funny thing about weeds is that the bigger they are, the easier they are to pull. There is more there to yank on and leverage against the roots. The small ones were harder. Often times I was left with that fistful of all the leaves and the root was left intact.

And all of this led me to think about a few things.

First of all, I think my youth group has been going through an unusually long winter. It has been dreary and overcast and the daily forecast and outlook is not very sunny. I am used to short winters and a brief time of gray days. I also think that all this rain and dreariness will bring the most beautiful spring I have ever seen. All these seeds that are getting watered will bloom into a riot of beauty very soon. I think the sun is going to come and warm our hearts and inspire us to spend time in the garden.

The other thing I noted is that before any of the gardening can begin, all of the weeds have to be cleared. What's the point of having flowers if you have to look at the weeds grow all over them?

And lastly, I had a garden application in the idea that many times people will let God pull all the big weeds, and thinking the hard work is done, they leave and decide to pull the small weeds themselves. Really, the small weeds take more care in how they should be pulled and sometimes require extra treatment to get to the root of the unwanted weed to ensure it doesn't grow back up. The gardener pulls the big weeds first so he can get to the small ones. Getting the big weeds pulled doesn't qualify as the yard being ready for flowers.

Lots of prayers have been uttered by my lips over this weekend. I have shed many a tear, too. My heart is grieved but hope has been handed down.

April showers bring May-time flowers.

Quickest Road to Trouble?

I have been thinking and I get in trouble when that happens.

THIS is the anthem...

I'm not giving in. I'm not giving up. I will not let discouragement take hold. I am not here to prove that I can fix things. I am here to prove that I am a servant of God and I will obey him. He knows what people want and what people need to have a better relationship with him. He can discern the heart and know people's motives. He can decipher what the teens need.

I know that most people hold the attitude that "Teens will be teens." Most people believe that teens will go through stuff on a larger, more dramatic scale than children or adults. They feel it is a "coming of age" ritual in America for people 12-22 to just act however they want. I feel it doesn't have to be the norm. I don't think I should shrug in expected indifference when I hear a teenager has started smoking pot, drinking daily, having pre-marital sex, tried to commit suicide, has run away or any other harmful thing that they might experiment with.

It's a cop out. It frees us from responsibility. We don't know what to do, so we shrug and say there is nothing we can do.

I am searching God to see what can be done. I am searching to know his heart for his teens. Many of our teens come from unchurched homes, Buddists, or just plain lazy Chrisitans. If the parents aren't there to support in prayer or aren't taught how to guide and mentor their teenagers, then it is left to teachers, peers and the media. Church youth workers are often times standing in the gap, combating these forces that are pulling on our young people.

I do not know a better way yet. I do what I know to do. I obey the Lord, I preach his Son and his Son crucified. I read my Bible. I pray continuously. I am searching, Lord. How do I touch your teens for you? What can I do, Lord? You know their hearts. You know what they need. Show me if there is anything I can do to serve You and help your teens get closer to you.

I just want to mention that King David won God's heart as a youth. It is all over the Book of Psalm. In Timothy, we are admonished to be "Holy young people set apart for God." It can be done.

Your will be done, God. Your kingdom come, in these teens' hearts as it is in heaven.

Keep Those Prayers Up

Terri is getting more national recognition. Her case is the first article on msn.com today.

See this article for more information.


Keep those prayers coming, people. This is a landmark case for any one of us when we get elderly or incapable of fending for ourselves.

Wanna Play?

This is a "Tag! You're It" kind of excercise except you have to volunteer to be tagged.

Carmon started a Interview Game as part of a “Blog-a-thon” at Buried Treasure Books to raise money for an Ethiopian orphan named Azanou who needs eye surgery. I volunteered at Michael's site, Chasing the Wind.

Anyway, here are the interview questions he’s asked me:

1. What about you has changed the most since high school?

THE MOST...good that he said the most because practically everything has changed in the last 10 years. (Has it really been that long?) I think my self-confidence is the single biggest thing. I don't let what people think sway me which has made me a much stronger Christian. I feel that if I am the ONLY person standing for truth, that's okay. My self-confidence is God based because I root myself in the Word. My confidence is also a strong ally for being able to make good decisions, not necessarily popular ones.


2. How did you decide to become a Christian?

God's grace drove me to it. I was five years old playing in the mud in my back yard one day. I thought about what the lady said in Sunday School and it just made sense. I KNOW I became a Jesus follower that day. I still remember the moment pretty clearly. As a teenager, I rebelled lots and lots. Even that "second" decision was totally God. I just woke up one day, looked around and thought, "What am I doing?" I went home and gave my life back to God.

3. Who is your favorite actor or actress? Have they ever appeared in a movie you really, really disliked?

I don't really have a favorite, sad I know. I like the usual A-list of Hollywood actors, but none stands out that I follow or must see their movies. Of course, I respect Mel Gibson the most after The Passion!


4. What dessert do you crave most?

Anything chocolate or Twinkies.

5. Describe your least favorite household chore.

Any of them that have to do with cleaning. I think I would have to have a favorite to have a least favorite.


Now, here are the rules for this Christian Blog-a-thon. I’ll offer to interview the next three people to respond to this post that will follow these rules:

1. Leave me (Amber) a comment saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here on Desperate Vision. They will be different questions than the ones above.
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

More Good News

Since I started reporting on Terri, I think it is only fair to keep you up to date.

So, Lucid Moments has some more pertinent information. I am so very glad this is getting recognition on a national level.


KEEP PRAYING!!

Hip-Hip Horray!

Yea! Yea! Yea! Yea! Yea! Yea! Yea!

I have not had time to check this out myself, but Amy is reporting that the judge is now reviewing whether her husband is fit to be her advocate!!!

HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD. People, if you need proof that prayers work, here it is.

Who needs to appeal to the govenor or the judge when we can appeal to the Creator? I am so very excited and I wanted to share this with everyone.

THANK YOU, God for hearing our prayers. We give you the praise and glory for taking care of Terri.

Prayer Vigil

Update- Things you can do!

Write a letter:
The Judge's Information:
George W. Greer
Rm 484
315 Court St
Clearwater, FL 33756

The Prosecuting Attorney's Information:
George J. Felos, Atty
595 Main St
Dunedin, FL 34698-4972
Phone: (727) 736-1402

The Governor's Information:
(He can actually DO something immediately to change the situation)

Jeb Bush
jeb.bush AT myflorida DOT com (Email him!)
(850) 488-4441
Executive Office of the Governor
400 S. Monroe Street
The Capitol
Tallahassee, Florida 32399-0001

A letter to Terri's family (for encouragement):
The Terri Schindler-Schiavo Foundation
4615 Gulf Blvd - #104/103 - St Petersburg Beach, FL 33706

If writing isn't your thing or if it is and you want to do more:
Sign a petition to President Bush:
Visit this site!

You can also educate yourself more!
Visit Terri's Fight, her official website. You can also make donations there and send an email.

---

Murderers at least have a jury of peers to decide if they should live or die. And for a killer, they have the chance of not being sentenced to death if there is a reasonable doubt.

Is there a reasonable doubt in Terri's case? Should she be given the chance to live or ordered to die? And in her case, the death being decided upon is not as humane as a gas chamber or lethal injection. She is being ordered to death by starvation.

She is someone's daughter. Terri's parents want to take her home and interact with her but instead are barred from seeing her at all. What horrible crime did Terri commit? No crime except being incapacitated and a nusance to her husband.

I wonder how lonley she feels? I wonder how heartbroken her family feels? I wonder how hungry Terri will get?

They say this is humane but Terri is aware of her surroundings. I am sure she is going to feel thirsty. I am sure she will realize she is ravenously hungry. And no one will lift a finger to help her. Inmates sentenced to death get a more humane killing.

Click here and See for yourself. You decide. Tell me she deserves to die because she is unable to feed herself.

Click here and See for yourself. You decide. Is her life really over, anyway?

Even convicted felons can get full pardons.

Let the cries of His people go up today on the behalf of righteousness for a helpless woman, Terri Schiavo.

It is for God's glory that I pray this situation is resolved to allow Terri to live.

If you would take a moment to mention this situation before God, I believe that prayer will make all the difference in the world.

The basic facts are this:
1. Terri is brain damaged but she can respond to people. She can open her eyes when asked, smile when interacted with and perform other simple commands.

2. Her family has been barred from seeing her.

3. Her family has offered to take Terri home and never bother her husband about it again. They would take on all reponsibility. That offer has been denied.

4. The mainstream media is reporting the story but not relaying all the facts. The way the newspapers read, you would think that Terri is in a coma and is never going to come out of it and that her husband is the saint and her family and all those who support her fight to live are evil.

5. The Florida government backs her husband in systematically killing her by removing her feeding tube. She needs nothing else to live but to be fed.

6. She has recieved no rehabilitation therapy.

Many people have done the Terri Schiavo story justice.

All Things 2 All is the best piece I have seen so far.

Lucid Moments has also poinginantly captured the moment.

Budman has two articles about Terri's plight.


My Prayer
Father,
You are loving and compassionate. You hurt for us and you love us. I pray that you would intervene and throw down those who would rise up to hurt the innocent and bruise the helpless. Let them be known for their evil deeds. Lord, allow justice and righteousness to prevail today on Terri's behalf. I pray for a miracle, whether that is in the justice system, Terri's husband's heart or in Terri's physical state. Lord, allow her to be a banner raised up that shows the the Lord's hand is still with his people. Show the courts, the media, the people who want no part of you that you still reign over us all. Let the praises of your people go up that your glory overrides everything that goes on in thie earth. You are mighty. You are strong. Nothing holds you back from delivering your people from evil. You are right. We stand in agreement with you. We say, "We are the Lord's people and evil will not prevail against us." We do have victory through the miracle of Jesus and there is no final death for us. Father, if it is Terri's time to go now, instead of her dying through starvation, take her gently and quickly. Comfort her family in everything that is being done here. Let justice prevail in any outcome, Father. And for these things we give you the honor and glory. Let our lives and responses be a reflection of You. Amen.

What's the Big Deal?

"We cant keep quiet about what we have seen and heard."

Do you ever feel that way when you run across a sensational story or something wonderful happening in your family? Somehow the topic just comes up in every conversation, even when getting groceries at the store or paying for dinner at the drive-thru. Some things in life are just too good to hold in and not share with everyone.

And of course, I am sure you can see where this is going. Because those words were uttered by John and Peter in the book of Acts.



Can we keep quiet about what we have seen and heard in Christ? Does it somehow just come up in a conversation or slip out when we don't mean for it to? Are we so rowdy about Jesus that we end up in jail before the judges and important men in our community who tell us we better shut up about this Jesus thing...or else. But Peter and John said, "I respect what you say but we can't keep quiet about what we've seen and heard." No way. No how. It was going to slip out somewhere to someone at some point- guaranteed!

And if we can find ourselves keeping quiet about Christ, WHY? Why aren't we so excited about the very person who snatched our souls out of the mouth of death and turned our lives around and continues to show us favor that we won't be quiet? Why aren't we excited? Did Jesus lose his excitement factor sometime between Peter and John and MTV? I doubt it.

So let's take a different tact. I am going to focus on Peter here. Peter gets picked on a lot because he is like us- prone to be fickle. So the question is, If I'm not so excited about Jesus that I can't sit still but Peter was that excited, what is the difference between me and Peter?

What impassioned Peter so much? What was the change? This is the same Peter who was too afraid to admit to even knowing Jesus and now he was in jail, on trial and couldn't hold his tongue. What was the change? Because there was a change. When he saw Jesus for the first time after denying him, he got so excited he jumped ship and swam to shore. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that the very man that died was the one on shore calling to him. No more, "If it's you Christ, show me."


So I am guesstimating that four days went between Peter's denial and reunion with Christ. I am sure he thought he completely blew it. Four days of mourning and back to the only thing he knew before Christ- Fishing. Life went back to the mundane and I am sure he was in depression. He wasn't out looking for Christ. He thought he was done, so he might as well go back to life as he knew it. Forget the miracles- put walking on water behind you. You have to eat somehow, Peter. Might as well get the show on the road, there's no sense looking back. I can see Peter's fishing buddies out on the boat saying, "Peter, why are you crying?" And him responding that salt water must've just gotten into his eyes.

The Christ who let Peter walk on water and participate in other miracles, the Life-Giver who would answer any questions that Peter asked, the Creator that died for him was the same person that Peter denied when under pressure. He blew it and he knew it. He despaired. He as grief stricken and horrified. He carried this burden of hopelessness on the boat with him.

But he got a second chance four days later. Peter was the face of relief and utter joy when he saw Jesus. He was out of his mind with joy and he never wanted to betray Christ again. Joy was restored, hope was renewed. He had a second chance at making things right.

And yet we would deny knowing Christ (by simply not admitting it) and not feel too bad for too long if it would mean that we could continue living in comfort the way we want. We want to live life on our terms and not be made too uncomfortable in this life by being too closely related to Christ. (I mean, then people will judge me and associate me with those homo-phobic bigots and make fun of me for believing in the Bible which is just a book in their mind and who knows what other insecurities I have with being associated with Jesus. So it is just easier if I am good even if no one ever knows why. Being good is enough of a witness.)

We may protest! But, I didn't live with Jesus for three years. I didn't get to experience those caliber miracles. I wasn't there when he died. Or maybe we figure that we've messed up so many times and Jesus is always there for us anyway so that forgiveness and grace have become mundane. We don't feel horrified at what we do wrong. We are okay and besides, Jesus knows we're just human so we never get to the place of remorse and repentance where Peter was. We are numb to Jesus. He is old news. He has been around for 23 of the 28 years of my life. What's the big deal?

From the point of floundering to shore and answering Jesus three times, "You know I love you, Lord." and on, Peter was sold out. Each time Peter confessed his love, Jesus said, "Good, then do this" it was followed by commands for acts of obedience. (This story is in John 21, btw.) Christ's love required Peter to do something, to change his life.

Sometimes after that incident, Peter could be wrong or presumptuous. But he still moved forward in serving Christ. He didn't get cold towards the things of God ever again. He didn't take Jesus' forgiveness for granted. By not taking the forgiveness for granted, he didn't take Christ's sacrifice of death for granted either. He followed Jesus through thick and thin to the point of death.

So what is the difference between me and Peter? Maybe I care too much about my security. Or maybe I am cold and indifferent to my sin and Christ's sacrifice which bought my forgiveness.

My life should be so marked by Christ's salvation and my heart so moved by Him that I am on the rooftops shouting. I should never leave a conversation to chance and not speak of Christ if I am prompted to do so. I should never deny Christ in a conversation when he is trying to enter. I should be quick to share the joy that is Jesus. I should be moved by compassion and tell of the restoration with God through Jesus. The world is hopeless. It despairs. People are walking dead. We have the life. Why aren't you excited? Where is the spark of fire? Death has no sting!

I don't feel that I finished this post well. What Christ has done and the excitement therein is almost inexplainable without just babbling on and on and on. And I think that is the point. The wonder of Christ is inexhaustible. It takes an eternity to praise him. Shouldn't it last at least a lifetime?

Heartache

It never stops, does it?

A girl got saved in the youth group this past summer. She is now pregnant.

When teens fail (the teens I minister to), it always causes me to reflect on the ministry we are running. I realize life is all about choices we make and I can't make choices for people. They know right from wrong. They know about God. But it still causes me to stop and ask, "Is there something I can do better, God?"

Is there something better that we can do to help teens to not want to have sex, not want to try to commit suicide, not want to give into temptation, not want to be rebellious? Those who are serious about God are the ones that tend to come to the more in-depth classes where we explore true obedience and discipleship. In fact, the girl who got pregnant stopped coming to youth group a few months ago because she got a job.

Anyway, I am going to be searching out God on this. He is the only one who can say if there is something more we need to be offering his teens. There just might be a more excellent way.

New Girl

A girl was new tonight. She came with a friend and smelled strongly of alcohol and cigarettes. She was overweight, dressed in boy clothes, complete with trucker hat.

During praise and worship time, her group of friends stood in a row in the back of the room. I watched as they talked. At one point, the new girl's cell phone rang and she answered it. One of the guys who comes regularly told her she should go outside to talk on the phone. She did. She came back a bit later. I was in the middle of a song when the Lord put a burden in my heart to go pray for her. I thought, "No thanks, Lord." Then, "Are you sure Lord?" (I have a bad attitude.)

I went up to her to ask if it would be okay if I prayed for her. I felt that the Lord wanted me to specifically pray about something. (I have no business knowing the things I do when God asks me to pray. I don't want to tell you exactly what I realized about this girl.) When I asked her if I could pray, she momentarily looked like a deer caught in headlights, then looked nervous and confused but nodded anyway. So I leaned in and explained that what I was doing was talking to God about her.

I placed my hands on her and began to speak. I got done praying and went back to my post near the door. She ran out crying. Her group of friends went to go after her. She came back in at one point for a minute or two and then left for most of the rest of the time.

The youth pastor spoke on the basics of who Jesus is and how to witness to friends. We have a lot of new Christians in our group, so this was a good thing to talk about. I was disappointed to see that the new girl didn't make it back in to hear about Jesus. I made eye contact with the friend that brought her, and we went out to find her.

We did find her. She was smoking a cigarette in the car. She came back in for the last two minutes of the youth pastor's talk. After everything was done, I went to go talk to her and just tell her that God loves her. I told her I would call her this week if that was okay and I would be praying for her.

Sometimes my eyes would get in the way of what God would have me do. Sometimes I would rather preach at someone for drinking and smoking or answering a phone during the church service when God would have me be still and use me to pray to show his love and compassion on a broken girl. There is a time and place to raise a standard.

I seem to be able to minister to the teens who don't look like they have any place in church. It is these teens that typically do more evangelizing than those teens raised in Christian homes. It is these teens that I am nervous around. Except in prayer, I never feel like I can say the right thing. I have no "silver bullet" or magic trick to make their problems disappear. They still have to be themselves, in the life they have. I have Jesus to teach. Most of them don't know they are really loved. They are usually in trouble more often than not. We have a lot of teens come through our doors who have already been in jail and are on probation. These teens tend to gravitate towards me. I am so uncomfortable around them, believe it or not. But God uses me anyway and has taught me to hold my tongue in regards to correcting their behavior until Christ gets a hold of them and gives them a reason.

P.S. We have been averaging 25 teens a week after a drastic drop from 100 when we changed nights. Tonight we had 35 teens.

Calling All Bloggers

Please read this.

Terri Schiavo

If there is ever a "Bloggers Unite" cause, this is it! (In my mind anyway.)

Here is the family's offical website for more info.

Juxtaposition

Since my main objective here is to have an arena to expound my spiritual thoughts so I don't drive everyone I know crazy by talking incessantly and so I can go to sleep when I go to bed.........

It's time to fess up. Life is feeling kinda heavy right now. I feel guilty even mentioning it. I feel (and yes, I know this isn't true) like if I am a good Christian, that I will always feel like dancing in tulips.

Actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea.

But you get the drift. So I am going to spill it here, not for sympathy votes, but because this is my mind's space to say what it needs to say so I don't have to dwell on it forever.

I have been sick a lot this winter with various head colds that have bogged me down and sapped my energy. It seems to take twice as much effort to get half as much accomplished. It has been like that since Thanksgiving.

So, my work has suffered. In an effort to get sleep to help me get over this hump, I have been sleeping in a few hours in the morning. And all my work calls seem to come while I am in bed. Once I wake up and return them, no one really calls for the rest of the day. But sometimes calls come in and I am sitting next to my cell phone and lo and behold, I have a message from a caller that never rang through. That is frustrating... But back to the real problem. In the morning, people get frustrated trying to call me. I should wake up but it is so hard when I am sick.

My house gets cleaned but isn't clean all at once. Pieces are clean. The kitchen is clean and the bathroom is a mess. Or the bathroom is clean and the house is dusty. Nothing gets done.

I read my Bible everyday. That requires a lot of effort in self-discipline right now when usually it is just a joy. My five minutes, three times a day prayer plan has boiled down to one time a day for five minutes and a few ancillary 10 second prayers because I forget in the midst of trying to juggle all these balls. (I know, the exact wrong time to forget, don't remind me.)

I have not exercised for almost two weeks. That is another commitment I made to God because my body is a gift from him and I need to honor it. That's not happening.

My Old Boss Man is really, very literally, losing his marbles so I have to change brokerages and I have to tell him on Monday and I am not looking forward to that. I really like him. He has been nice to me and taken care of me. I am going to hurt his feelings by leaving, but I have to do it. (Actually, the change in firms might give me a little kick in the pants.) I am in debt for my business that if I take into consideration profit and loss and the return on the way, it might not look like such a big number, but it is crushing to me. It has made me aware that I need to be much more responsible in my business expenses, but I still have to deal with it.

These are all the things I am experiencing right now and I know I want to be with God in everything. I feel as if everything is falling down the hillside and I am trying to run after it to get in front of it to stop it from crashing at the bottom. It has momentum. I do not. I am sick and I am tired and I just wish I could focus on one thing in life to do period and not have all these things to take care of.

So my dad would tell me to quit crying or he'd give me something to cry about (yes, he really used that line) but, HEY it's my blog!


Things I am Thankful For, God:

1. Continual stable and loving relationship with my husband.
2. People that pray for me.
3. My sister and mom who listen to me patiently. Dad listens, but not always patiently. (Today he was wonderful.)
4. Blogging!
5. Money to pay for food, utilities, housing and a car.
6. A great church. (I am not ranking these in importance, just as they pop into my head.)
7. A great bunch of teens to work with.
8. A good profession.
9. My dogs.
10. God's presence everywhere.
11. The Word and the perseverance to read it.
12. Health (with the exception of my cold).
13. Friends.
14. The fact that no major tragedies have besieged my life in a while.
15. Music.
16. Prayer.
17. Godly women.
18. Laughter.
19. A quiet house at the end of a stressful week.
20. Jesus' sacrifice for me!!!

And that is one long blog and I am done!

Heart's Desire

Ephesians 4:1-7 NIV

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit- just as you were called to one hope when you were called- one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.

I Wanna Talk to Jesus!!!

How many times have you had a day that was horrible (or a month or a year) and you just wish that you could sit with Jesus face to face and have a conversation with him? How often have you had a question because things in life don't make sense and you wish that your time on earth coincided with Jesus' time on earth just so you could get a glimpse of him. Sure you have heard the promise, "Blessed are those who do not see and yet still believe." But sometimes if Jesus would just show up so we could sit with him, it would make all the difference in the world.

Guess what? You want to have Jesus in front of you? What if I said he is already in your house? In something tangible, real, and life-giving?

John 1:1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. vs. 14- The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.


As revealed in John, Jesus is the Word. That means that the time you spend in the Word is time spent with Jesus. You want to know, "What would Jesus say?" You may ask, "How would Jesus react?" (This is a good question. See Amy's recent post.) Spend time with him. You have access to his very person in every word of that Bible.

I found out that Jesus was the cloud and fire in the desert with the Israelites. He was the one who spoke and created earth. He has been with his people from the beginning and we don't usually know it. He is sitting on your bookshelf, waiting to reveal something new. He might be on your nightstand, beckoning. He wants to show you his nail pierced hands. He wants you to touch his side. See his eyes; feel his embrace. Come to know his mind and especially to know his heart.

Begin to have coffee breaks with Jesus daily. Some people complain they don't have time, their minds can't focus or they don't get anything from reading the Word.

I have been raised rooted in the Word. For years and years I read the Word trying to scratch meaning out of what I was reading. Sometimes I would "get lucky" and read a passage that spoke to my immediate situation. But more times than not, I would close my Bible and wonder how that applies to me. What I have found is that the Word is not a quick fix, the return comes from saving up your time in the Word. It is like exercise (which I hate, but my body is a gift from God and I need to honor it). Exercise usually has no immediate payoff. Sure, sometimes I get home and feel triumphant that I even made it out. But usually, I walk back in the door thinking, "The point of that was?" I still have jiggly thighs. They haven't budged a centimeter. But over time, exercise shows a return. Double chins disappear, pants get looser and eventually the thighs start to thin out.

I have read the Bible, shut it and felt like my time would have been just as well spent listening to the radio or reading a different book. But at certain times, God will be showing me a new truth, and the Spirit starts to work all these passages together. I begin to recall this passage and that passage and I see how the truth is woven through all of them for this one theme. I do not have them all memorized, but the Spirit blows the dust off my memory banks and flowers start to bloom where the seed was planted.

P.S. I believe strongly in the fear of the Lord, but I feel just as strongly in a Jesus that knows us intimately and wants us to have a very personal relationship back to him.

Encouraging Words

There are a lot of blogs out there. There are many blogs belonging to Christians dedicated to discussing topics of Christian interest. The quality blogs really point me back to focusing on Christ, to spurring me on towards good deeds in God, to help me to consider my relationship and life with Christ and how I can do better. Steel sharpens steel and there is some steel out there.

There is intrinsic motivation and external motivation. I am very intrinsically motivated to living a life devoted to God, but sometimes I can be blind to myself. (Anyone else ever feel that way?) Sometimes I need encouragement. Sometimes I need something to set my thinking in a different way. I am often times blind to my issues until someone starts to talk about theirs.

How many people need encouragement in their Christian walk to be able to utter one more prayer or to have a flicker of hope in the darkest place? I hope this blog can be used to inspire and encourage people. Christ is the answer. He has always been the solution. Meditate on Him. Problems change day by day and moment by moment. It is a fleeting, hurried life that focuses on what is wrong. It is a solid, hope filled life that focuses on Christ.

If you find yourself flustered, unable to cope, running in circles- just take yourself into a room and be silent before God. Wait upon the Lord. Call upon his name and be saved. Get a fresh perspective. Perseverance in this life is a building block to do great things and to reward you when you are face to face with your personal savior. When you get to look Jesus in his eyes and embrace his hands, these moments of hardship when you still stood for him will be a source of glory for Him.

2 Thessalonians 1:10- 12- on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you. With this in mind we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith. We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.

What greater gift can you give to Jesus than your thoughts and life? I believe it is easier to die for Christ than to live for him often times. Remember that this life is not forever. Eternity with your Savior is. There is purpose in every moment of our lives. It is our choice to make it glorifying to Christ.

And what a beautiful thing it is that by grace I serve him to begin with. The things I do are not added unto me, they are added unto Him. They are his glory. I am not filling myself, I am building his kingdom. It gives me such sweet pleasure to be his creation and his tool to use in this world as he sees fit. Being surrendered to him is a sweet satisfying and fulfilling experience. It is not void of my personality and character, it is an extension of it.

Salt and Light

So the question has been posed, "What is the best way to be salt and light in this world?" See here for an already on-going discussion on the issue. Amy has put a thoughtful and thought-provoking post up.

How do we live in the world and not lose our saltiness and yet still be effective in reaching lost souls and pointing them back to Christ?

Some people would like to discuss how salty or how bright we should be. Some want to discuss how to be salty and bright. Some want to talk down about others for not being salty or bright enough. Some people have an opinion that Christians should be so set apart that even the music, clothing, and other outward expressions would be a differentiating factor.

Here's my opinion!

I think there is a distinct lack of training from within the church on how to be salty and bright in this dim and dull world. People are hungry, thirsty and blind. As a corporate church body, we can do more to be salt and light in this world than one person can be at their mission field of everyday life.

I believe we should display a salt and light in the world by living up to the standard that Christ has called us. I believe that making an impact on a personal level is best determined by the individual person and what fits with their personality, knowledge and level of relationship with Christ. I grow each day and each year. I am a better witness now than I was four years ago. I am a better witness now than I was last month. I do not expect others to be able to be salt and light the way I can. We all have our own gifts and our own understanding.

Moving On...

But I think a key to reaching out and revolutionizing our culture is by revolutionizing the very community that the church serves. I think it is as important to give to missionaries all over the world as it is for a local church to create a mission mentality in their own community. Minister to those who are down and out who do not walk in the door and attend church by giving to the needy. Take care of the orphans. There are many orphans in this world simply because they are unwanted. They may live with parents, but their lives are thrown away before they reach puberty. (Here is my own encounter with that.)

Let's start to go to the poorer neighborhoods of our community and begin to give them what they need, whether it is a grass mowing, clothing, food or prayer. Be salt and light by being so revolutionarily different that people react and HUNGER for what you are giving to them.

Start pouring yourself out as an offering to the dregs of society. Get hungry and passionate about doing whatever it takes to point people back to Christ. Don't become a "Bible Thumper". Become a display of Christ in loving your community and having compassion on lost souls that drives you out of your house, out of your neighborhood, over the railroad tracks to the heart of the broken.

In my mind, the corporate body of Christ is the key in really making a change in this world. Work together and something will happen that each person could not create individually. It is synergy in Christ by the leading of the Holy Spirit.

When you go to reach the very people God is hurting for, see if his power doesn't come right along side of you to make the impact you long for. Always in the Bible, Jesus was moved by compassion. He taught the gospel. Then the miracles happened.

Expand Your Vision

I believe that churches do not dream big enough. We do not dream outside of our four walls. We talk about what could be different in the world, what's wrong with people in our pews, bicker over theology and fine tune our Sunday morning programs. We gorge ourselves on ourselves. We give a nod to the outsiders but do we really do anything meaningful for them?

Isaiah 54:2- (The Message) Clear lots of ground for your tents! Make your tents large. Spread out! Think big! Use plenty of rope, drive the tent pegs deep. You're going to need lots of elbow room for your growing family. You're going to take over whole nations, you're going to resettle abandoned cities. Don't be afraid-you're not going to be embarrassed. Don't hold back-you're not going to come up short.

Create a vision to really meet your community where they are at. Be consistent, create opportunity. God will bless us if we reach out for the down and out just like his son did. We won't come up short ever when we reach lost souls.

Most churches give money for missions but what missions are they creating where they live? What vision do they have for the lost except they hope those people will stumble into the church one day and be blown away by what's going on in the four walls. Be proactive. Go find the hurt and the lost. Jesus didn't hang out in the synagoges hoping that the people who needed to be healed would find him. He walked the streets. He showed up at parties. He was the people's Savior.

Who's Not in Your Pews?

What's so special about Phoenix First Assembly? It is a mega-church in America but that is not what makes it special.

I just got back from the Pastor's/Leadership Conference there. The church is packed with extraordinary talent in all departments from youth, music, drama, preaching, deacons, prayer, marriage builders, etc. But the special thing that I noticed there is the ability for the staff to cast a vision for the church.

They dream huge and they are huge. They minister to the unwanted, untouched population in their areas. They had testimonies piled up of people that were bussed into the church or ministered to through people in the church going out to neighborhoods. These people are often times homeless, hungry, diseased, on drugs, prostitutes or pimps and the list goes on. People with money started coming to the church AFTER the programs started because they want to use their money to make an impact and saw that the church was making a difference in the world around them.

The church is growing because they are making an impact. They are reaching the people who would never attend church otherwise. And they are cleaning up lives with Jesus. It is pure truth taught through and through. It is not a 12 step program, it is a Christ centered teaching that rescues these people from the dregs of society.

I could go on and on with what impressed me there, but I thought this might be relevant to pastors out there. Find the population in your community that is missed by every other church. I think in my community it is the poorer Spanish speaking people and we can do many things with our smaller congregation to minister Jesus to them. Extend your church's hand out to meet your people where they are at.

The only thing you have to realize is that you have to be willing to share a pew with these people.

Unique Ministry that Shouldn't Be Unique

I am at a Leadership Conference in Phoenix, AZ at Phoenix First Assembly. So far it has been really good. Has anyone heard of the Dream Center? I went to a break out session with the leader of that organization. It is a ministry in downtown LA that reaches out to homeless kids, prostitutes, drug abusers, the very poor and needy. The testimonies from the people who have been touched by the ministry are really cool.

The leader of the ministry said that they are just exactly what the world is not. They are tender, loving and caring. It is a church that is open 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. They are consistent in ministring to their neighborhoods and really go after the people that Jesus was talking about without compromising truth or honesty.

I was really blessed to get a little peek at this ministry. I would write more, but it is the middle of the day in classes.

Why Don't I Feel Blessed?

Jeremiah 17:5-7 This is what the Lord says: "Cursed is the man who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the Lord. He will be like a bush in the wastelands; he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.

*He will not see prosperity when it comes.* That does not say that those who trust in people will not have prosperity, they just won't be able to see it. He dwells in the wrong place.

The one biggest factor I have found in my new prayer time is that I am filled with a solid joy. There is no longer room for doubt or despair. I do not see things the way I used to. I completely expect to see fullness where there might be a lack right now. I see opportunity where there is room for growth. I am prepared for change and excited about it. Where there is a small increase in the physical, I see victory.

So prosperity is a mindset. It is trusting God instead of circumstances, our own abilities, the pastor, a church or hymnals to get us through something. We look to focus on Jesus and we display a joy and hope that is so real that it changes the very circumstances we are battling against. But it changes mostly the fact that you can see the prosperity. The prosperity is there but if you are living in a salt desert......

Hebrews 12:2"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

Jesus had joy even in the face of his unjust death. Keep looking at him, think of it as a mental staring contest. Don't look away at your problems. Jesus had joy because of where he was looking- at the Father.

I find it interesting that the book of Jeremiah deals with rebellion. I work with teens. I was a teen at one time. Some teens struggle with rebellion in a big way. Those that are rebellious focus on the problems of the world or what they perceive as restraints of being a Christian. Then the negativity sets in and they can't figure out why they can't "feel God" anymore and they spiral into more rebellion. But I think that this passage was to show the Israelites that out of their rebellion comes a mindset that is unable to see the prosperity even when it is there. It's like being color blind and not being able to see orange even though it is there and others can see it. To a color blind person orange is indistinguishable from other colors.

So how to get out of trusting in anything other than God? Begin in the Word. Remember the promises there are for you as well. Also pray about your situation very specifically and in depth. Try just five minutes a day, set the timer and go off by yourself. When you pray, you will begin to look for the answer to prayer and will be much more in tune with changes. Persevere in this because we may give up if we don't see results fast enough, but God doesn't tell us to quit praying when we get frustrated. He will deliver! Lastly, hold captive every thought.

2 Corinthians 10:5- "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Don't let your mind run wild with lies about all the negativity of your life, how bad it is, how much worse it is going to get or even how you are going to fix it. Do not go there! Dwell on God's goodness, not your problems. You will begin to see things from a whole new angle if you make those thoughts obedient to Christ. I know from experience this is hard and I have to vocally yell, "STOP!" to myself because I was so used to letting my mind run wherever it pleased. And like the bumper sticker says, "My mind is too small to be left wandering alone". It gets me into trouble with the negative thoughts that get me into a tizzy only to try to fix things instead of laying them in God's capable hands and leaving them alone. I have found that he can fix things so much better than I would have even dreamed of if I let him. He's a great handyman!

Psalm 1:2b "and on his law he meditates day and night" This passage is speaking of a blessed man. The blessed man meditates on the answer, not the problem. The answer has always existed. Problems change every day and sometimes every hour. The remedy is always the same!

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

I am finally certain and sure that what I hope for is what will be. God will move. God will be made known. God is going to revolutionize those areas I have been praying about. I have invited him to go to work and he is happy to do so! This hope is solid, not fleeting or forced like a painted on clown face over a very sad person.

If you are still reading and interested, I want to give a personal example in my life of how this has all played out. I used to live constantly in "Camp Tizzy". I worked for a large corporation in the business sales department. It was pretty high pressure and we had mandatory quotas that were required to be met or people lose their jobs. I am great at business! (Kinda why the previous post applies.) I love it. I get wrapped up in strategizing and I am very goal oriented. After almost a year of prospering in my new market, things started to dry up. I was only at 20% of my quota goal, let alone my personal goal. I was doing everything I knew to do. My client appointments would often be an hour's drive one way and I would spend this time literally obsessing about how I was going to move all the pieces into place to make things come together. I need to point out that I didn't even realize I was obsessing because this is pretty much the way I handled all problems and goals in life.

I was attending a ministry at my church called Growth Group. In the midst of my business going down the tubes, I was challenged in this Bible Study to begin to shift my focus away from business and onto Jesus. I was challenged to proclaim the promises in the Bible. But the hardest challenge I had came from Mo. As I was trying to figure out and strategize on how to shift my mindset from constantly trying to maneuver and fix things to focusing on Jesus she said, "Just be." She tried to explain what that meant and at the time the only thing I grasped was, "When you wake up in the morning, have your cup of coffee and read your Bible. Then ask God where he wants you to go for the day and what he wants you to do."

I did that. I never heard God answer about what I should do so I sat on the couch for a month. That was so very hard for me to do. It was literally a test of faith, a test of wills. It was also the first time in four months I met my quota and I won an account that was historic for my company in this state. Kind of an amazing return for sitting on the couch!

What God showed me is that he does not need me to do anything to bless me. In fact, the best thing I can do is get out of the way and wait for him to speak to me. I do not need to struggle, to strategize, to move all the correct pieces into the correct places. I just have to surrender. I think you might find the same thing for yourself. Quit living in the desert and step out to start looking at Christ with everything you have. He will rock your world.

Confession Time

Okay...FINE! It's confession time. I have a bit of jealousy where this sisterhood of moms is concerned. God has placed a whole different perogative in my life and being a mom doesn't hold a whole lot of appeal for me. But I admire these strong women I have been reading about. Wow! I am happy for their happiness but doubt mine would be achieved the same way. God set my beat to a different drum. I never really wanted to get married, but the perfect man for me came along and who am I to say no??? Hopefully the perfect child will happen the same way and I will love that person without the premeditation of longing.

So props, a shout out, congrats, kudos (or whatever) to all the moms out there working hard and having the hardest job to do. And to my best friend Beth, mom of three young boys all under 3 years old, you are an amazing woman!!! Love ya lots.

P.S. And mostly a round of applause to my very own mom (yes, even I have one) for being a patient, godly, kind woman and a good role model.

Medicine

Lily is such a smart lady! Recently her family was completely violated in the worst way. I had sent her family a card with a bunch of verses about God's love, healing and perseverance. I saw her at church on Sunday. Lily was very thankful for the card and verses. She read the card to all of her kids. I explained that the verses stemmed from a study I had done late in 2004 because I was trying to figure out from a Biblical perspective why life can be so crappy sometimes and what to do about it. What I found was pages upon pages of verses about God helping people who cry out to him, what the eternal purpose of suffering is, and God's profuse love for his people.

I explained to Lily that the verses didn't really seem to make much of a difference at the time. I didn't feel any better, but it was truth and I was going to agree with what the Bible said about the situation.

She remarked, "Doing the study was like taking medicine when you are sick. You might not feel better when you are taking them and by the time you are well, you don't realize it was the pills that made you feel better."

Wow! We are so accustomed to a quick fix or instant gratification we sometimes expect to get done reading the Bible and feel instanly better. When it takes a while for the truths to take hold and change our perspective, by the time we are changed we probably don't even realize it was from giving ourselves the remedy of biblical truth.

Get the Whole Pie

As I am sitting here writing this, I am hearing birds chirping outside the window. Things like that just bless me beyond belief. What a creative, beautiful God we serve!

And speaking of serving, that is what I wanted to write about today. Many times I forget that worship is such a bigger piece of pie than I realize- it should be the whole pie. Worship is anything we do as an act of surrender for God.

(Side note: We used to ask my dad which piece of pie he wanted and he would look at us confused and say, "Piece?" as if there was no sense in making it into pieces. He would take the whole thing, thank you very much. Ugly pie, dad...ugly pie.)

Yesterday I went walking/jogging. This is an act of worship when I do it because my motivation for doing it is to treat my body as a temple and not to abuse it. I want to take care of what God has given me.

This morning I prayed. I gave my time and my focus to God as an act of worship. I did this to communicate with God and to have my mind focused on him today.

When I was done praying, I wanted to go back to sleep. I almost did. Then the words in Proverbs regarding laziness and not sleeping too much came to my head so I got up and said, "God, this is for you." That was an act of worship.

I am taking a break from my other blog, Confessions of a Christian, today. It has become somewhat of a ministry for me. (A "para-blog" if you will.) But I tend to devote too much of my focus to what is going on over there. So today, one act of worship is not visiting that blog.

I told my teens (the ones I minister to) this illustration. I used to eat chips and salsa every night before I went to bed, around 10:30. I love chips and salsa. There is nothing wrong with chips and salsa. But I began to feel convicted for eating so late- it is not good for my body. So at night, I would lie in bed and my body that was so conditioned to the chips and salsa that it would crave and ask me for them. I had to tell my body I was not having chips and salsa out of obedience to God. Eating chips and salsa is not a sin, but for me it was. Not eating them was a form of worship to tell my Maker that he is more important than my desires.

So put down the piece of pie you were trying to give God and pick up the whole pie. God is like my dad in that he doesn't get why you would cut it up into pieces.

A Broken God?

I learned something new about God today. I suppose that's what it is all about, but this was learning about his character.

Ali: "You never really know what you are going to do when you are in that situation."
Me: "I couldn't even imagine."
Ali: "I always thought if it ever happened I would know exactly what I would do but when it actually did, there were so many factors. You love the person, you know?"
Me: "Yeah."

I read Jeremiah Ch. 1-5. God described himself as a husband that provided everything to his wife only to have her run out of the house and have sex with other men in public places where everyone could see like hilltops and the side of the road. He also described himself as a father who gave his son the most beautiful inheritance ever only to have the son never acknowledge or speak to his father.

I never pictured God as really grieving or as people having the ability to break his heart. But that's exactly what happens when we backslide and don't acknowledge him. When we try to do things our way and break his rules on purpose out of spite or rebellion, it breaks him. I do not even want to fathom what it would be like to have a husband who cheated on me, let alone out in public where everyone knows about his betrayal. How hurt God must be when his people act as if they don't know him!

The Christian Blog-sphere Challenge

I am going to try to keep this post up for a little while before I do another post. Wish me luck on that as I tend to post about three times a day.

I Peter 3:8-9
"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing."

I never post something here unless God has shown me some truth in it. And tonight he showed me some truth.

We were like little islands that came together to create the blog-sphere. We all have different convictions and God has revealed different Truths to each of us. We are here to share those and hopefully help expand the church's vision of God.

But in this blog-sphere, we also have non-Christians watching how we are behaving. They are using our posts to form opinions on Him whom we represent. So be careful.

I have a challenge! Keep away from opening up cans of worms on purpose that would cause division in the body of Christ. I believe that like Paul, we should teach Christ and Christ crucified. I think that is our standard and that is what we, as Christians, should focus on. Let's put down the torches and pitchforks and show the world a unified love in Christ alone. We are people and we will have different opinions on music, dress, personalities, Bible translations, preferences on pastors, etc. But if someone is promoting Christ, let's leave them alone. I have seen so many blogs where people try to stir up dissention by coming down on other Christians. The second part of this challenge is to refrain from joining the fray when something pushes your buttons. Return insult and evil with blessing! Spread the word of the challenge.

Let them know we are Christians by our love.